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Miss Behavin

[ website | My Website ]
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[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(8 on the floor | chug, chug, chug!)

omg! look who it is! [09 Sep 2005|12:50am]
[ mood | tired ]

So I'm sitting outside, half asleep and disoriented as usual, and I think; what's the best thing I could do right now? The answer: Update my Livejournal!

I just got back from Florida an hour ago. I've been there three times since my last update. Obviously this means the relationship is still going well. In fact, it's even getting better! Who knew relationships could do that? I was pretty sure they started off decent and almost immediately descended into petty hostility. Apparently I was wrong. I like this guy more than I could possibly type, so I'm not even gonna try. I'm too happy to even ramble.

I also got me a job. Not a good job or anything, but, you know, a job. I've been working as an administrative assistant at an insanely overpriced designer linens shop on the Upper East Side. I have to wear a suit and heels every day and pretend to be in a really good mood when I'm not, and it doesn't pay very well, but the people there sure are nice. And they like me, cause I work really really hard.

There are two new points of excitement currently in my life. In 23 days I turn 21. This is something I've been looking forward to since I was old enough to look forward to anything, and even more so since I found out that legally you need to be 21 to have any fun.
Just after that, Mike and I will be going to Europe for almost three weeks. We're going to Amsterdam and then to Paris. This is super-exciting for me and even moreso for Mike who has never left the continent.

Also my hair is brown again and it will stay that way this time. I've spent lots and lots of money on my hair just to get it back to the way it was in the first place. Life lesson: Blondes have more fun, but they remember less of it. Worth it? Up to the individual.

I...really thought I had more interesting things to say. Apparently lots of work and not all that much play makes Erin pretty dull. Sorry guys. False alarm.

Love, etc.

P.S.: There are two ants crawling on my bottle of heart medication. Should I be scared?

(3 on the floor | chug, chug, chug!)

Tagged by the lovely Steve Major, who I hope is having an equally lovely time in China. [14 Jun 2005|03:14pm]
Five things I don't like:

1. Being stuck in the city in this insanely stuffy weather.

2. People who elbow you on the street and then give you a dirty look like it was your fault. Fuck you.

3. Attention whores.

4. Reality television.

5. Vegetables. I gave them a fair chance again last week - I still don't like them. Any of 'em.

Five Don'ts:

1. Don't tell me I look like I'm anything under eightteen. For some reason, that bugs the hell out of me. There was one week where like six people told me I looked about fourteen. One lady asked me what grade I was in. Fucking sixteenth grade, by now. wtf. I'm twenty.

2. Don't completely ignore people. I see it all the time here with homeless people. They'll ask for change and be completely ignored. Not even so much as a "sorry, no". They're people too, y'know. That must be so damn frustrating.

3. Don't tell me I look like Britney Spears. You're clearly too drunk to see anything but blonde hair.

4. Don't make judgements on something you know little about.

5. Don't call me before noon. Ever. Sleep is very important to me.

Five Do's:

1. Travel. The world is amazing.

2. Be optimistic. Everything gets better with time.

3. Be nice as often as you can. It's easier to make someone's day than many people seem to think.

4. Be honest. Lying just makes problems worse, and makes you feel guilty, and guilt causes anxiety. It's no good for anybody.

5. Have a good time. Everywhere.

(7 on the floor | chug, chug, chug!)

Erin Quits Smoking, day 6. [14 Jun 2005|02:26pm]
Anyone who tells you quitting smoking is easy is fucking retarded. I kicked smack cold turkey and it wasn't as unpleasant as this. I went from chain-smoking to non-smoking overnight, and lemme tell ya. If you're thinking of starting smoking, don't. You'll wish you hadn't when you're curled up in the fetal position screaming incoherent obsceneties and coughing grey shit out your lungs. Maybe it's different for everybody, but nicotine withdrawl has not been kind to me.
The worst is over with, as far as I can tell. The worst (and most bizarre) symptom I have left is the formication. That's formication, not fornication, you horny bitches. It's the feeling that you've got bugs crawling all over you. It's associated with menopause and stimulant withdrawl, mainly meth/crack, so I don't know why the hell it's happening to me. Is it possible I smoked so many cigarettes that the stimulant level equaled that of methamphetamines? Last night I swore I was covered in bugs. I had to take three showers in an hour before I felt safe enough to go to bed.
Also, the not sleeping. Over the entire weekend I got a combined total of three hours of sleep. This is also better now.

When it's all over, it'll be worth it. And I'll live longer and be able to walk up stairs.

Besides that, life is good.

Now, onto the FAQ.

Q: Erin, you love smoking. You smoke all day every day. What on earth made you quit?
A: It is true that I love smoking. This has not changed. However, everyone has something to prove every once in a while. I have about ten things to prove, and I figured I could get them all in one shot. I had more reasons to quit smoking than I could ignore. Besides, I'll live longer.

Q: How's the job hunt going?
A: Fine. I have an interview tomorrow at noon. I thought it was going to be today, but the guy called me at ten in the morning and asked me to come in tomorrow. So, today I got up bright and early for nothing, and I was sad. Hopefully I will get this job. If not, I'll throw a fit. It worked in my childhood, why wouldn't it work now?

Q: How's your boyfriend?
A: Wonderful. I've been down to Florida twice since my last post and he's come up here once. We still talk every day. No one person has ever made me feel so completely content, even when so far away. I'm very much in love, and those of you who know me well know I don't throw that term around lightly. Give me a job so I can go see him.

Q: Why haven't you called me, bitch?
A: I've had a lot going on in my life/mind lately, and I apologise profusely. It's nothing personal, I haven't really seen anyone lately. I'll be back to my old self soon, don't worry.

I've got a show on Saturday that I hope I'm well enough to make. Saturday at Arlene's Grocery with Heather. Let me know if you want to come so I can give you details, and possibly work out a guest list.

Also, if you know anyone who lives in the city and may want to buy Newports for cheap (cheaper than you can find them here, anyhow) let me know. I'm selling my leftover cigarettes, and I've got about three cartons to get rid of.

Hope all is well with yall.
Smoke-free kisses,

(7 on the floor | chug, chug, chug!)

Does anyone else think that "Kidney" would be a cute name if it weren't already an organ? [16 Apr 2005|07:27pm]
[ mood | drained ]

I spent all day today passing a kidney stone.
It sucked.

The end.

(11 on the floor | chug, chug, chug!)

Now I'm a shirt! [14 Apr 2005|11:05pm]
[ mood | jubilant ]

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
I must have this.

(21 on the floor | chug, chug, chug!)

Sad in body, happy in head. [09 Apr 2005|03:39pm]
[ mood | awesome ]

Sporadic updates make all of my posts more exciting. That's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it.

< complain >
I got that damn flu thing again. Except this time, it led to pneumonia. And I gave it to my mother, who also got pneumonia. The pneumonia led to a highly unpleasant rib injury that makes moving around suck. So I sit before this monitor in pain. I don't like pain. < /complain >

I went to Florida for a week with my mother. See, her best friend (Joan) married her UPS guy (Bob) and moved down there, and invited us to come down and visit. So we did. I thought I was going to spend a casual week relaxing and working on my tan. Oh, how wrong I was.
My mother had briefly mentioned that Bob had three sons, and the youngest, Mike, 24, was living with them, in the house in which we'd be staying. She did not mention, however, the possibility of me falling head over heels for said boy.
It started off casual. We were hanging out with our parents, after all. We discussed music, fake IDs, and nice weather. We seemed to have the same taste in everything. We're both night owls, so when midnight rolled around, our parents went to sleep and we were left alone. He breaks out the bowl, and I feel right at home. We talked for hours. We had all kinds of weird little things in common. We had the same fish. We play the same bass, bluish-purple Ibanez. And we could talk about anything.
This went on for days. Every night, our parents would go to sleep, and we'd stay up and talk. I liked him, a lot. On the last night, we exchanged phone numbers and had a long, drawn-out goodbye. There were several awkward silences. Finally, I reached in for a hug, and got a kiss instead. Then we had a "Wait a minute - you like me too?" discussion. And there were many more kisses. It was awesome. It was perfect, really.
But there was a problem, because there always is. I had heard from his family (having his family as informants is awesome, by the way) that he was at the end of a very long term relationship with a girl he'd dated in high school, who lived in New Jersey. No one seemed to know exactly what the deal was, except that they seemed to make each other miserable. He explained it to me a bit on the last night (honesty? Wow!) and told me he wanted to be with me, but had to end things with this girl so as not to be a dick. How long would that take? A month, maybe. I'm patient but frustrated. I arrive back in New York in a joyful haze.
Not even 24 hours after he estimated it would take a month, my mother greets me with a smile in our living room. She says, "I talked to Joan who talked to Bob who talked to Mike. He broke up with that girl. Apparently he really likes you." Well, that was the shortest month ever. Then he calls me and asks me to come back down to Florida.
Long story short, I'm flying back to Florida on the 27th, and Mike and I have spent no less than an hour on the phone every day since. I feel the kind of feeling I thought was reserved for naive highschoolers in puppy love. I walk around in a state of euphoria all day. I can't remember the last time I liked someone this much, or was this happy. This was well worth waiting for.

Puke buckets are in the corner. I know, I know, but come on. I've spent the past several years doing nothing but bitching about relationships. Now I've got the chance to rave about one, and by God, I'm gonna do it.

(21 on the floor | chug, chug, chug!)

... [28 Mar 2005|09:00pm]
[ mood | grumpy ]

This is not a real update, but it had to be said.

Go to www.slunt.net. Do it. DO IT NOW.

Or, tomorrow, go to your happy local CD store and pick up a copy of Slunt's "Get A Load Of This". That way, you can show it to everyone you know and tell them you read the journal of that girl on the cover. They'll think you're creepy, but I'll think you're cool.

Whatever. I think it's awesome. I'm going to Virgin tomorrow just to look at myself on the shelf.


I haven't spent more than two waking hours at home since I got back from Florida. I'll do a real update when I have time. There's a lot to tell.

(10 on the floor | chug, chug, chug!)

Mostly for Randy [02 Mar 2005|05:28pm]
[ mood | sick ]

But for Steve Major too, if by chance you'll be in town. (When's your spring break?)

K-Rock Presents GARBAGE
with special guest
The Dead 60's
Hammerstein Ballroom | April 19th
Public on sale: Friday, March 4 @ 12PM
Tickets: $33.00
PRESALE: Thurs, March 3 | 9am - 9pm
Log into 92 Free.Loaders
on Thurs. to purchase tickets.
password: SHIRLEY

Were we not just talking about this yesterday?

(15 on the floor | chug, chug, chug!)

things that don't make sense [04 Jan 2005|02:41am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

So apparently someone's been going around pretending to be me. On the internet. Said someone has been posting guestbook messages on local websites under my name. Which is strange. Stranger yet, they don't really seem to say anything, usually just "hello, nice website," etc. Why anyone would do that is beyond me. Saying mean things under my name would at least indicate some sort of hostile motive. Here's an actual example I found on lucciworld:

Jail Bait | http://pornrock.net
Hey Lucci! Love the website!
Monday, July 19, 2004 - New York,NY

It appears to be someone who doesn't even know me personally. First off, they used stage-name only, which I rarely do anymore. Second, I spell it as one word, not two. (Jailbait, not Jail Bait.) Third, no email address. And most of all, pornrock.net isn't even the band's website anymore, and hasn't been since 2003. Which leads me to the big question - why? What could anyone, particularly someone I've never met, gain from pretending to be me on assorted messageboards if they're not even saying anything remotely controversial? Is someone trying to make me look polite and friendly? Have I developed another personality which remembers nothing of the other but its stage name and former band website? I am thoroughly confused.

But what's confusing me even more is this. And this is what's really bothering me, if you must know. People always talk about how women love assholes, but no one ever mentions the fact that men love bitches. And many of them do. For some reason, every time I start to really like a guy, and consequently start being really nice to him, he grows distant. The phone calls grow less frequent and the tone of affection in the voice fades. I don't think I'm being smothering, just, you know, nice. But that doesn't seem to be what anybody wants. I could bake all the goddamn cookies in the world and I still wouldn't get the time of day from whomever I baked them for. I need to learn how to be mean. Or something.

Also I would like to state how terribly much I miss the summertime.

That is all, kiss.

(7 on the floor | chug, chug, chug!)

If you're planning on being in the New York City area next week... [09 Dec 2004|04:13pm]
[ mood | energetic ]

I'm performing with the band Heather at CBGB's next Wednesday, Dec. 15th, at 9pm. Ages 16+. You should all come. If you let me know enough in advance, I can even put you on the guest list, and you won't have to pay any money. But it'll probably be pretty cheap anyhow. And it'll be lots of fun. And I'd really appreciate it. So let me know.

Also, for you lovely New Yorkers, I've been working with a really awesome charity to take up my free time. It's called Operation Santa and it collects letters to Santa from needy kids and distributes them to people who want to send them gifts. So basically, it gets a lot of really needy children nice presents for Christmas. Which is awesome. If you want to help out, you can come by the main post office (8th ave & 31st) between 9am and 4:30pm and pick up a letter, or stuff envelopes like me. They get thousands of requests a day, so they need all the help they can get. Either way, check out the website. I think it's a really nice idea. Operation Santa

That is all. kiss.

(12 on the floor | chug, chug, chug!)

Things I have discovered (or re-discovered) in the past week or so: [28 Nov 2004|03:20pm]
[ mood | insomnia-induced delirium ]

1. It is possible to have too much free time.
2. There is great pleasure to be had in quitting while you're ahead.
3. It's one glass, not one bottle, of red wine a day that's healthy for you. (oops!)
4. The second and third toe on my right foot are more attached than they should be. (This was discovered while contemplating my feet for just under an hour. See item 1.)
5. The Mr. T Experience is the greatest band, ever.
6. I do not look good with black hair.
7. I'm really not at all fond of holidays.
8. Knock it all you want. Love really does rock.

(11 on the floor | chug, chug, chug!)

these times, they are a changin [17 Nov 2004|03:44am]
[ mood | blah ]

Sorry about that. I kept saying to myself I was going to update, and then, well, you know.

So I got back from Pennsylvania and did some fun shows, which was, well, fun. I got to perform AC/DC's "Big Balls" in a Hello Kitty outfit in front of a large crowd at Don Hill's for Bitch night. Then I broke my rib (while coughing...I didn't know that was even possible, and god forbid I'd hurt myself doing something cool) and haven't done anything cool since.

I turned 20 which was nice. I got a bass which I will attempt to learn how to play. On my birthday I went to the bar with my mom and some assorted acquaintences and drank champagne. The next weekend Danilo came back into town and we went to Nathan's house and drank champagne. Because everything should involve champagne.

I dropped out of college, again. I'm about to begin taking office assistant courses. I will make money and get an apartment and live happily ever after.

Alex and I broke up for reasons unknown. I was remarkably unaffected. I am either jaded or maturing. Maybe both.

Some other stuff happened that I can't think of right now. I'm far too tired to write anything decent, really. I just posted this to make it widely known that I am, in fact, still alive. I will post again as I think of stuff. I swear.

This entry sucked. Here are some pictures.
Read more...Collapse )
That is all kiss.

(7 on the floor | chug, chug, chug!)

wealth is relative [20 Aug 2004|05:33pm]
[ mood | excited ]

I have seven lighters, six hundred and thirty-five cigarettes, and two bottles of wine. The wine must be finished by tomorrow. The cigarettes will last me at least two weeks.
It's party time in Pennsylvania.

(1 on the floor | chug, chug, chug!)

Saturday [18 Aug 2004|11:38pm]
[ mood | energetic ]

The Band Formerly Known as Satanicide

Live at The Delancey
168 Delancey @ Clinton
Saturday August 21st at Midnight
$6 cover

Special Guests:

Slunt 11:00pm
Old Money 1:00am


I'll be performing with the band.
So who's coming, eh?

(8 on the floor | chug, chug, chug!)

updating is so last season [29 Jul 2004|02:12pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

it's summer. so fuckin sue me.
Anyway. The Satanicide show was amazing. The crowd loved it. It was my biggest show yet - headlining to a packed house at Bowery Ballroom on a Saturday - and it was the first time I've been asked for autographs after a show. Alex came too and had a blast, he's not used to that sort of thing. Moby was in the crowd and remembered me from Erocktica. He gave me his number and asked me and Alex to come to the after-party on his roof. So we did, it was fun, great apartment, cases of beer, etc. It's super sweet of him to invite the band to his place to drink his beers. On the cab ride home I found a pack of Camels - Alex's brand - and he officially decided I was some sort of god. ha.

The band emailed me the next day to thank me for dancing with them. They're super nice guys. It really was my pleasure, we all had a blast.
The next show is on August 21st, and everyone should come. Everyone.

The cover shoot for Slunt was last Friday, and I think it went really well. I can't wait to see how the pics came out, when I do, I'll be sure to post them here. I had to pretend to eat fake ice cream (so it wouldn't melt) and cover my hand in Elmer's glue so it looked like it was melting. So I will be eating fake vanilla ice cream in pigtails on the cover of the next Slunt album. yay.

Tomorrow I'm going to be on VH1 Classic for like ten seconds at 8am and 8pm requesting a Pink Floyd song with Joanna. They found us in Washington Square Park and forced us to do it.

Come September, everyone will be leaving. Danilo is leaving, Alex is leaving. This fall is probably going to suck.
But the summer is still here, and it's pretty good, so I'll just concentrate on that.

I had a lot to say, but I can't remember any of it. I'm too tired to function. I'll remember later and probably post three times in one day.

Oh! OH!
I dyed my hair brown. Ha! I'm back to my natural color, I feel like me again. And for the record, blondes don't have more fun.

that is all, kiss.

(17 on the floor | chug, chug, chug!)

Maturity/Conversations with SmarterChild [28 Jun 2004|02:36pm]
[ mood | tired ]

jury duty is over. it was boring as hell but it was nice to get paid for sitting around all day. i would do it for a living if i didn't have to wake up so damn early.

i'm physicially incapable of being single for over a week, so i have a new boyfriend. his name is alex and he's the boy i met at marc and seth's party. he's an adorable jewish hipster and he's nice to me. and i like him. yay.

i took out my navel ring for a day and it closed up. i got it pierced again and now it hurts.

dale wants me to do the cover of the slunt album now, too. i'll be eating vanilla ice cream. if you haven't seen his website, do. it's amazing. http://www.dalemayphotography.com

i apologize for this entry's sucking. i stayed up watching 80s vampire movies instead of sleeping. because i'm not just a dork, i'm a stupid dork. i will now make up for the sucking of this entry with blatant beavis and butthead humor.

if you have aim, talk to smarterchild. he's my best friend. an aim bot is my best friend. yes, i am a stupid dork. yay.

Maturity is way overrated.Read more...Collapse )

that is all kiss.

(10 on the floor | chug, chug, chug!)

bits and pieces [19 Jun 2004|05:21pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

since this is my first time being completely single (meaning, when asked the question "are you involved", the answer is not "yes", the answer is not even "it's complicated", the answer is just plain "no") in seven years...seven years, meaning I haven't been single since I first began dating, I decided it was time to do something special. well, not really special, just something I should have done forever ago. so I'm putting one of my old book ideas onto paper. yay! I wrote a full proposal and now we're looking for literary agencies to send it to. if all goes as planned, i will spend this summer writing a book which will be published. which would be wicked cool. and i'd get paid for it. which would also be wicked cool.

if anyone wants to see the proposal, comment with your email. feedback is nice.

the killers - hot fuss is the most infectious cd i've bought in years. i love it and i can't put it down.

a have a sort-of date tonight i think with this dude i met last night at a party. hopefully he wasn't too drunk to remember me. and i hope he's as cute as i remember, i was pretty hammered myself.

ahh...romance. <3

you know how some people sued macdonald's for making them fat? I thought i ought to sue heineken for my relationship with stu. fatty food = fat people, beer = relationships you might see the faults in while sober.
hey, this is america, and you really never know.

i guess that's all.
wait, no, i took some pictures of myself which no one really wants to see but i'll post them anyway.
can you tell i have a tan?
probably not, but i swear i do.
Read more...Collapse )
there. now that's all.

(14 on the floor | chug, chug, chug!)

breaking up is not really all that hard to do [16 Jun 2004|12:28pm]
[ mood | energetic ]

This is the last post about the subject of my first post. I feel like an ass, it's recorded, even here in this very journal, that you've been treating me like shit for a year and a half. Last night was the last time I'll ever cry because of you. Or for you, I'm not sure which. You're off the speed dial, in the trash can, out the window. And I'm not even sad. Why? Is it because you hurt me for so long that leaving is easy? Is it because I'm so used to being fucked over by you that I don't even notice anymore? No. It's because I am so much better than you.

*ahem* Sorry.
In lighter news, hello I am back.
The Dominican Republic was lovely. I would have pictures, but some fuck stole my digital camera while on vacation. Like they really needed it. "Oh, I like to summer at a beach resort in the Caribbean, but I'm soooo poor I think I need this camera that someone's been taking awesome pictures with all week!" Shithead.

I met a nice boy named Karl yesterday. He's from South London (yessss) and he does freelance storyboard and likes meditation and psychoactives. God save the Queen. <3

The Velvet Revolver cd is awesome. Go buy it and love me for recommending it to you.

I am going to briefly be on VH1 Classic. I don't know when yet but I will let you know.

I got called for jury duty. This means I am an adult and therefore cannot be.

I have nothing else of any interest whatsoever to say.

(3 on the floor | chug, chug, chug!)

Erin's fifteen minutes of almost-semi-fame [29 May 2004|03:27am]
[ mood | triumphant ]

velvet revolver was mother fucking incredible.
i have never seen anything like that in my life. Mr. Weiland has enough stage presence to mesmerize all of new york city. i am now even more utterly fascinated with the man than ever - the way he dances, his beautiful strangeness. and the way i can relate - the loss of life through medication for bipolar disorder, kicking heroin cold turkey - so much so that one of his songs literally brought me to tears. it's as if he's singing the soundtrack to my life.
it was the best show i've ever seen, to say the very least. and i've seen quite a few.

speaking of shows, i had my first erocktica performance last night for the first time in months. it was so good to be on stage again. performing puts me into a different mindset, a different world - like i flip a switch and become some cabaret-dancing robot. and having fans - now that's motherfucking strange. though we have a cult following of probably about ten people, it's fun to impress your friends when people come up to you asking for photographs/autographs. "it's my favorite little rock star!" "it is? where?" "can i get a picture with you?" "what? me? huh? oh...uh, sure!" dance with the successful, and people will think you're one of them. now that's a metaphor if i've ever heard one.

so dale, lead singer of satanicide, played drums with us for last night's show. he wants me to be the girl-on-the-cover for satanicide's sophomore album, which is awesome as hell. he did the photography for the cover of godsmack's first album, and has worked with an impressive list of other celebrities - Matt LeBlanc, Amy Lee, etc. (check out his website - dalemayphotography.com) he still has to run my headshots by the label, but it looks like it's gonna happen. i've always wanted to be the girl-on-the-cover.

i was going to call my math teacher today, but i pussied out. because i am a big pussy.

so, i'm leaving in 24 hours for the good ol' DR. if I don't talk to any of you before that, well, have fun, be good, and don't do anything i wouldn't do. *cough*

good luck and kisses to all,

(6 on the floor | chug, chug, chug!)

fuck yes. [26 May 2004|03:26pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

how good are things? things are as good as a frozen strawberry daiquiri in the desert, yes they are. this month has been non-stop badass. cool shit just keeps happening. like, i wish for something, and it somehow appears. yes sir, i am on a roll.

yesterday, i finally got my hands on:
1. My math teacher's phone number. (!)
2. A ticket to see Velvet Revolver. (!!)

so yes, i finally got to ask out said math teacher. i waited around after my final yesterday for about an hour. i was on the phone with my mother and, after about forty-five minutes, i was starting to feel a bit silly. so, on the phone, i started yelling "I AM A DOUCHE". because fate likes to prove me right when i say things like that, i turned around after one particularly loud declaration of my doucheness, and there he was, standing right next to me. i dropped the cell phone and turned a rather dark shade of red. but apparently he likes douches, because i still got his number.

tonight, i am going to see velvet revolver. velvet. fucking. revolver. the greatest supergroup anybody could have thought up. i am going to kiss scott weiland's toes and worship him like the musical god he is. i have waited so long to see him in concert. years and years and years. and, word on the street is, they'll be playing Stone Temple Pilots and Guns n' Roses songs along with their own catalog. yes.
fuck yes.
and it's only gonna get better. sunday i leave for the dominican republic for eight days. i will lie on the beach and sip daiquiris for eight days. yes.
hooray for the best month ever!

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